Friday Five: 5 Ways to Help Someone with Depression
Feeling off or unhappy sometimes is normal and expected, as all humans have ups and downs. However, if these feelings last for a significant period of time, it may be a sign of deeper issues, including potentially depression
Although professional support can be especially helpful, it can be incredibly difficult to ask for help. Often, people struggling don’t even know when or how to ask for help.
Asking for professional help is a valid and expected way of working yourself out of it. If you see a friend having a hard time with mental health and depression, here are some ways to help them.
Keep reading to learn 5 ways to help someone with depression :)
1. Be Empathic Even if You’ve Never Been Depressed Before
Informing yourself is a good way to start giving help to others. Depression will change your brain and the way it processes reality. Psychiatrist Aaron Beck called the three ways in which your brain will change, the “cognitive triad”.
People with depression develop: a negative view of themselves (“I wish I was better”) , a negative view of the world (“People always ignore me”) and a negative view of the future (“Nothing will ever get better”).
By understanding the impact of depression on how a person approaches life, you may be able to respond to their needs in a more impactful way.
2. How to Help Your Friend Identify They Are Depressed
While someone with depression may not be able to identify when it’s time to ask for help, an observer can often help provide a more neutral and realistic perspective. But, what should I look for in my friend's behavior?
If someone is depressed, they may:
Have lost interest in doing the things they once enjoyed.
Seem to be feeling hopeless.
Feel tired or as if they don’t have energy.
Not able to sleep or is sleeping more than usual.
3. Offer Encouragement and Validation
People with depression tend to think very negatively of everything that surrounds them. Listening to them and acknowledging their feelings is a good way to help. Also, assuring them that reality is not as dark as it seems can be helpful, as is validating that they are enough and worthy of love.
Both you and your friend may find it helpful to discuss how their brain is experiencing a medical phenomenon, rather than them just being ‘too lazy/sensitive/weak/etc’ in their handling of events.
4. Help Them Come out of Their Hole
Sometimes depressed people have trouble leaving a safe area, such as coming out of their room or their house. Getting them out and about can be a good way for them to change scenery. Make up an excuse to try getting them out of there. Even if they just stay inside the car, it is enough. hoice. 🙌
“Hey, I need to go buy (something) but I’m having a hard time choosing (type of the something), would you come and help me choose?”
“Can I borrow you for a moment? I need help fixing something in the garden.”
5. Understand That “Being Positive” Is Not Helpful
If you never had depression, the difference between “being blue” and “being depressed” can be difficult to understand. While feeling blue or sad from a particular situation can be fixed with “positive thoughts”, depression is much more complicated and needs more than “cheering up”. Avoid expressions like “you should just try to be happier” or “why don't you find a new activity?”.
While positively intended, these can often further burden or shame your depressed friend and add to the situation they are already going through. Clinical depression will not be fixed by thinking positively.
