Friday Five: Gettting Spooky in Bed—Halloween Edition
Just like we dress up as our favorite anime or movie character during spooky season, in the bedroom, people often take on sexual characters that may differ from their daily persona. The shy student could be an aggressive dominator behind closed doors, and the demanding CEO might enjoy being tied up and tortured. Take 5 minutes to find your sexual character and get some new ideas to try this weekend.
SWEET SENSUALIST
Touch, taste, smell and sound activation in the bedroom make you tingle with desire? Sensory play and arousal can be explored at any moment.
“When flirting, when sinking into pleasurable experiences, when getting ready for a date…we always think of the senses” – Excerpt from our our interview with Jet-Setting Jasmine about how mindfully using our senses can upgrade our sex lives.
Try this: Set up your sexy time space to engage all 5 senses. For smell, perhaps you light candles, incense or wear essential oils. Ylang Ylang is known for its aphrodisiac properties to increase libido by enhancing your mood and increasing energy. You can also try sensory deprivation by removing access to specific stimulations with a blindfold or earplugs.
2. SALACIOUS SLUT
Women like Lorae, founder of Slutty Girl Problems, are reclaiming the word ‘slut’ as an empowering title for sexual liberation.
“One of the most important parts of learning how to be a good slut is setting boundaries. Respect yourself. Everywhere. In every situation. No one walks over a slut.” — Lorrae, Your Guide to Being A Slut.
Try this: If you identify with this character, you’re more likely to be sexually adventurous and open to trying new things. While that’s exciting, make sure to practice healthy forms of self care, boundary settings and self-respect. Read The Slutty Girl’s Manifesto - A set of sex-positive beliefs and promises to remind yourself of your sexual power. We also have an exciting new class offering, Sexual Polarities: Reignite Your Magnetism, exploring opposites, attraction and modalities for integrating all parts of ourselves authentically.
3. ROLEPLAY BABY
If exploring roleplay or strange fantasies turns you on, then you’re one of many kinky folx around the world.
In a survey of 4,000 American adults, “33% of participants said they had fantasized about sex with a mythical creature before.” — Sex & Psychology, How Many People Fantasize About Sex with Mythical Creatures?
Why do we have these fantasies? “A well-documented biological drive known as the Coolidge Effect shows that all humans find sexual novelty and variety titillating, whether from novel types of stimuli or new partners (both real or imagined).” –Jess Joho, Halloween is the best time to explore your erotic alter ego in the bedroom.
Try this: This is the perfect season for roleplay! Whether you’ve fantasized about sex with a mythical creature, your doctor or a famous celebrity, feel free to explore it.
4. ETHICAL PORN SUPERSTAR
“According to Men's Health, it's not just celebrities who want to make sex tapes—40% of women want to make a homemade flick with their partners.” — Michelle Toglia, 30 Wildest, Super Hot Sex Fantasy Ideas
Try this: Act like you and partner(s) are on set of a Bellesa House Film—which showcases real people and scenarios—you’ve never met, and you’re about to be intimate for the first time. You might start with masturbating in front of each other to understand what is pleasing for one another.
5. VANILLA KILLA
Maybe your sexual persona is more “normal” and similar to the personality you express all the time—trying wild, kinky acts is not arousing to you. That’s completely fine, and you can connect with your partner(s) in different ways to boost trust and increase intimacy.
Try this: Give your partner(s) a slow and sensual erotic massage to set the mood and show your adoration for their body.
Tips from The O School, How to Give an Erotic Massage:
“Be mindful of the pressure your hands are exerting, and remember to check in with your partner for useful feedback. Try leaning in and whispering, “How does this feel?”
“It’s likely that your partner’s face, ears, and temples haven’t been given a lot of attention for quite some time. Use gentle, lingering touches in these areas.”
“If you’re in the mood for a little dirty talk, while you lovingly caress their fingers you may mention, ‘Because I enjoy your fingers on my body, I want to show them some special attention.’”
