On The Search For Non-monogamy
If you are wondering how to find other ethically non-monogamous folks—especially when COVID has certainly made it challenging, the internet is here to help!
Here are some apps that people in the ENM community have found helpful, according to Cosmopolitan and Women’s Health:
🔆 Feeld
🔆 #Open
🔆 BiCupid
🔆 OkCupid
🔆 MoreThanOne
🔆 PolyFinda
You can also use traditional apps like Tinder, Hinge or Bumble to find potential partners, just make sure that you state very clearly that you are ethically non-monogamous (ENM) and add that you’re looking for “like-minded folks.” Make it a habit to remind people this is what you’re after even if you’ve already matched and are chatting.
If you’re in an open relationship and looking for a ‘third’ person, make that clear in your bio, and even create a profile to which both you and your partner have access. According to Women’s Health, certified sexologist Gigi Engle thinks of this as a great way to establish clear boundaries and ensure the “total transparency” needed in this situation.
However, some of the things you may consider prior to searching for an additional partner are:
💛 CNM, just like monogamy, isn’t just about sex.
💛 ENM practitioners decide to live a life based on radical honesty and authenticity for themselves and all their partners, which implies that the experience of being with multiple partners at once is always CONSENSUAL.
💛 Jealousy happens in all types of relationships, monogamous or not, and more often than not it represents an opportunity for growth.
💛 Monogamy IS NOT the only available option for humans to have meaningful romantic and/or sexual relationships with others.
💛 Polyamorous people and CNM practitioners often face legal and social challenges that can endanger their rights. This happens due to stigma and lack of marriage legislation for non-monogamous folks.
💛 It can turn into an unethical or unhealthy dynamic (just like monogamy) when honesty and consent are overlooked and when it doesn’t feel like there’s a safe space to voice concerns and needs freely and respectfully.
MAIN TAKEAWAY: Relationships, no matter which type, are for us to DESIGN.
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