Friday Five: The Key to Fulfilling Relationships
Sexuality, relationships, and emotions are all courses that should be taught in schools. We’re here to share resources so you can ace your personal, sexual and social skills.
Take 5 minutes to learn more about how to strengthen your emotional intelligence.
How Am I?
The first component when thinking about your level of emotional intelligence is awareness. Are you aware of the emotions that arise within you daily? Can you describe how you’re feeling and what might have triggered it?
Remember, you are not your emotions. You are not an “angry, sad or joyful” person. You are a person who experiences a myriad of emotions in response to inner and outward influences.
With more awareness of how you’re feeling you can also take note of what you’re doing, who you’re with, in what atmosphere. These are clues to creating a more positive life with the right people in it.
2. Reflection
4 questions for better understanding yourself and your feelings:
Describe the last time you felt a strong wave of emotion—either positive or negative.
Is this the first time I’ve felt this way, or is it a recurring emotion, and if so, when did it start?
Is this emotion linked to something I like or dislike about myself?
Was this emotion possibly caused by a past experience or person?
What healthy things can I continue, or what unhealthy actions should I stop doing to feel this way more/less?
3. How are my Relationships?
3 questions to ask your partner(s) to strengthen your ability to understand one another:
Have I done anything recently to make you feel really good or appreciated?
What about anything to make you feel not so good?
What’s the best way for me to approach and support you when you’re experiencing weighty emotions?
4. Red Means Run
Communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship, and if your partner is resistant to discussing emotions altogether —that could be a red flag! Remember to account for all the nuance in your relationship, choose the timing intentionally and delve into your communication health when you’re both in a settled mood, so it’s viewed as an exploration, not a test.
“If your partner(s) can’t relate to your feelings or empathize with you, it can turn into unnecessary conflict and misunderstandings.”
5. Familiar Feelings
The holiday season brings up a lot of emotions, especially surrounding our relationships, or lack thereof, with our family. Whatever your feelings are, they’re valid. Share them with someone.
Connecting with our emotions should be a judgment-free experience. Being vulnerable with others is like opening a blank book and allowing more meaningful stories to be written.
There’s no shame in seeking outside help to better understand ourselves and each other. Even the Addams family goes to therapy.
Scene from Netflix series Wednesday
