What is Demisexuality?
Have you ever had difficulty feeling sexually aroused when you meet someone you find physically attractive? Felt like you might need to have a more significant connection with that person before acting on that attraction? For some, arousal is only possible through a deep emotional bond. According to Cleveland Clinic, this is a sexual orientation called Demisexuality.
People who identify as demisexual only feel sexual attraction to someone after forming a strong emotional bond with them, whether that person is male, female, or non-binary.
The prefix DEMI- means “half,” and here, it implies that demisexuality is the halfway point between being “asexual” (people who don’t experience sexual attraction) and “sexual” (people who feel sexual attraction easily).
Something important.
For demisexuals, having an emotional bond doesn't guarantee that sexual attraction will develop—just as a ‘sexual’ can experience sexual attraction to anyone, but doesn’t feel that way toward every person they meet.
What does being demisexual look like?
While this varies from person to person, according to Healthline, if you are demisexual, you might relate to these feelings or scenarios:
I seldom feel sexually attracted to people I see on the street, strangers, or acquaintances.
I have felt sexually attracted to someone I was close to (such as a friend or romantic partner).
My emotional connection with someone affects whether I feel sexually attracted to them.
I’m not aroused or interested in the thought of having sex with someone I don’t know well, even if they’re aesthetically beautiful or have a pleasant personality.
These are only a few examples, maybe you are demisexual but don’t relate to this, and that’s OK too.
Is there a way to know if I’m demisexual?
There’s no quiz you can take to know, but here are a few questions from Cleveland Clinic to consider and reflect upon:
Who are you sexually attracted to? How do these people make you feel?
Do you feel sexual attraction? How frequently? How strong is the feeling?
How important is sexual attraction in determining who you want to date?
Do you feel sexual attraction to people you don’t know?
There are no wrong answers and being honest with yourself may help you figure out more about your sexual identity.
