Challenges and Benefits of Ethical Non-monogamy (ENM)
ENM is similar to any choice or orientation: there’s a fine line. Comparing it with other choices or orientations won’t make sense. In Dr. Heath Schechinger’s words, “dog and cat owners may experience similar benefits and comforts from being a pet owner but are likely to tell you that there are distinct perks to different animals.” There are, however, some common shared experiences...
Potential Benefits of ENM:
🟡 Trust and freedom. Studies suggest that there tends to be more trust and less jealousy in non-monogamous dynamics.
🟡 Enhanced communication skills from rewriting traditional relationship scripts and creating relationship agreements.
🟡 A more varied sex and love life with more opportunities to explore curiosities.
🟡 Less pressure to fulfill all of one partner’s needs.
Potential Challenges of ENM:
🟡 Shame. ENM practitioners are estimated to be a population even bigger than the LGBTQ population; yet many of them choose to keep this aspect of their lives hidden in the face of possible rejection or straight exclusion from society.
🟡 Jealousy. ENM represents more opportunities for jealousy to arise (which tends to be turned into a benefit, since it allows for the underlying issues to be processed in the frame of open honest communication..)
🟡 Time management. Love is infinite, but time isn’t. There must be enough time for all partners in the dynamic to feel good and valued, and it might often be tough to find it.
🟡 Legal implications. Parenting and marriage become difficult for people in polyfidelitous relationships when legal marriage between more than two people is not an option for most.
This list has been gathered based on the sources below and should not be taken as a prescription
for non-monogamous relationships. It describes a number of experiences, but not all.
If you have ever wondered how to engage in ethically non-monogamous (ENM) relationships but thought of jealousy as an obstacle, we’ve got your back!
Listen to our brand new Carnal Theory episode with Jessica Clark Graham (see bio below) wherein we discuss everything from the challenges that ENM relationships entail to how to be more than one separate ‘solid self’ to unlock an epic sex life.
Or head over to our YouTube channel: My Sex Bio to watch the full episode!
Jessica Graham is a meditation teacher, sex, relationship, and spiritual guide for couples and individuals, international speaker, grief and trauma resolution guide.
Sources
CBS News
Elizabeth Barnes
Certified Sexologist
Very Well Mind
Goop
