Challenges And Benefits of Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)
Have you had any doubts when considering becoming Ethically Non-Monogamous?
ENM is similar to any choice or orientation: comparing it with other choices or orientations won’t always make sense. In Dr. Heath Schechinger’s words, “dog and cat owners may experience similar benefits and comforts from being a pet owner but are likely to tell you that there are distinct perks to different animals.” There are, however, some common shared experiences.
POTENTIAL BENEFITS OF ENM:
🟡 Trust and freedom. Studies suggest that there tends to be more trust and less jealousy in non-monogamous dynamics.
🟡 Enhanced communication skills from rewriting traditional relationship scripts and creating relationship agreements.
🟡 A more varied sex and love life with more opportunities to explore curiosities.
🟡 Less pressure to fulfill all of one partner’s needs.
POTENTIAL CHALLENGES OF ENM:
🟡 Shame. ENM practitioners are estimated to be a population even bigger than the LGBTQ population. Yet, many of them choose to keep this aspect of their lives hidden in the face of possible rejection or straight exclusion from society.
🟡 Jealousy. ENM represents more opportunities for jealousy to arise (which can become a benefit, since it allows for the underlying issues to be processed in the frame of open, honest communication).
🟡 Time management. Love is infinite, but time isn’t. There must be enough time for all partners in the dynamic to feel good and valued, and it might often be tough to find it.
🟡 Legal implications. Parenting and marriage become difficult for people in polyfidelitous relationships when legal marriage between more than two people is not an option for most.
Disclaimer: This list has been gathered based on the sources below and should not be taken as a prescription for non-monogamous relationships. It describes many experiences, but not all.
Learn more about ENM by watching our interview with pleasure expert, Dr. Rachel Allyn:
