Educate Yourself and Help to End the STIgma
At My Sex Bio, we had the pleasure to talk with Rea Kennedy, registered nurse, certified holistic sex educator, and herpes advocate. We dived deep into the subject of STI’s and how liberating from stigma and shame can change things!
My Sex Bio: Where are you located and how did you get involve in sex education?
Rea: I currently live in Salem, OR with my husband and fur baby, but do most of my work online or in the Portland and Seattle areas. My work mostly consists of creating downloadable educational resources, leading various workshops, and hosting support groups for HSV+ vulva-owners. I got involved with sex education after my own genital herpes diagnosis in 2016. I dove head-first into research and came to realize how little education we all receive(d) about sexual health- either due to abstinence-based sex education or the sheer stigma that surrounds sexuality. That stigma holds us back from being curious, well-informed, and excited about sex! I was able to overcome sexual stigma through education, so I wanted to help others do the same. I guess you could say herpes made me do it :)
My Sex Bio: Later this year, we're talking about ridding the STI shame. Have you seen the conversation or stigma around herpes changing at all?
Rea: Yes and no. There are loads of sex educators, podcasters, and HSV+ instagram accounts popping up right now which is VERY exciting because they are adding to the conversation. The more folks who are talking about destigmatizing STI's/herpes- the better! But there still seems to be lots of STI shaming and herpes jokes being made despite this surge in sexuality awareness, especially in the media. Herpes is often the butt of many jokes - remember The Hangover and Pitch Perfect? There are so many examples of movies and other forms of media that depend on herpes for a cheap laugh (not everyone may notice them but those jokes never get past us HSV+ people...and even for me, they can still sting sometimes!) But recently I've seen shows like The Bold Type and Adam Ruins Everything normalizing herpes in a really cool and casual way. Not to mention the comedian, Drew Michael, who is redefining herpes jokes! In short, the discussion surrounding STIgma is changing. Slowly, but SURELY. And it's gaining speed...
My Sex Bio: What's the biggest misunderstanding people seem to have about STI's or about Herpes in general?
Rea: That contracting an STI, especially an incurable one, means you are dirty or damaged. Many of us were brought up to believe that contracting an STI is one of the worst things that could happen to an individual, so when it does (not IF but WHEN - 1 in 2 sexually active people will contract an STI by the age of 25) folks often feel like their chances of finding an accepting partner or receiving sexual pleasure is slim to none.
The truth is, STI's don't make you less deserving of love and pleasure, they don't rob you of your worth, and they are not reserved for the deviant or promiscuous- anyone can contract an STI and that diagnosis should not define them, nor should it limit them to a loveless, pleasureless existence.
My Sex Bio: Why has there been a movement from using the term STD to using the term STI?
Rea: Disease is defined as a disorder that shows specific signs and symptoms. Diseases will eventually lead to some kind of impaired function of the body (like pelvic inflammatory disease or infertility), but that's not the case with all sexually transmitted infections. Take herpes for instance, 90 out of 100 people living with HSV (Herpes Simplex Virus) show no symptoms! Although herpes is a lifelong diagnosis, it will never lead to impaired function of the body. Outbreaks come and go but herpes will not lead to disease. The switch from sexually transmitted disease to sexually transmitted infection is just more appropriate and accurate.
My Sex Bio: What else do you think people need to know about Herpes or STIs in general?
Rea: Contracting herpes or any other STI can happen to anyone. STIs do not discriminate against race, gender, sexuality, or relationship status. Yes, they are preventable, but they are also probable and manageable. STI's are not the worst thing that could happen to you.
I'd also really love to share with readers that those who live with an STI don't necessarily suffer from that STI- we're more likely to be suffering from the stigma that comes with the diagnosis. So in an effort to ease the suffering of STI+ folks, educate yourself, normalize sex and all that comes with it, and help to end the STIgma.
Thank you for talking with us, Rea! Even though she retired from social media, you can still check out her amazing content and follow the Positive Results Community for more info!
