Friday Five: Gender Liberation > Limitation
Our generation's exploration of gender and identity continues to pave the way for reprogramming outdated beliefs that limit unique human expression. For every person has both feminine and masculine qualities. Feminine qualities are more compassionate, creative, intuitive and supportive while masculine essence is more logical, focused, confident and protective. Being feminine does not diminish your level or potential to showcase masculinity, and vice versa.
Keep reading for 5 ways to support gender-defying human expression.
Understanding Misconceptions
Sex and gender are commonly misused interchangeably, even though they describe two different things. Sex is based on your genitalia at birth, while gender is what you socially express and is unique to you. Sexual orientation is who you are attracted to. For example, one might have been born with a yoni (vagina) but now identifies as a transgender gay man, so he dates men.
2. Consider Children
Ideas about gender roles begin during youth when we’re told which colors, toys and games are for “girls or boys.” If you have children or spend time with them, give them agency to behave and react according to their intuitive interests. Avoid phrases like “girls or boys do/dress/act like this'.' Start healthy conversations about sex and identity so they feel safe to be themselves.
“It’s our responsibility as parenting figures and caretakers to openly expose our kids to new ideas and concepts, way beyond the established stereotypical roles. To allow them to decide what works for them and what doesn’t. We need to be by their side as they realize who they are. We have to support them on their journey of self-awareness.”
— Excerpt from Deconstructing Gender for Freedom
3. Outer Expression
Men, keep painting your nails and wearing skirts and women stay stunting in shaggy hairdos. Confidently rocking styles that are outside of the socially normative trend is a liberating way to explore your personal style and genderless self-expression.
4. Relationship Dynamics
Gender roles also exist heavily within relationships, where people feel inclined to take on either a provider or caretaker role. If that is what works for you and your partner, then make that decision after a discussion of both of your needs, goals and relationship boundaries. However, it’s healthy to find a balance of expressing both roles. Women are biologically inclined to be more empathetic than men, but that does not limit men’s ability to be nurturing. Many men, in fact, are in need of more opportunities to connect to their gentle, vulnerable side in order to heal from toxic masculinity.
“Masculinity should be defined by the individual instead of in the context of women and/or cultural stereotypes, and it starts with the relationship to self.”
— King Noire & Jet Setting Jasmine
5. The Pay Gap
Another common social separation of gender is within the workplace, where women are frequently paid less than men. Gay men make less than their heterosexual counterparts, while lesbians earn more than heterosexual women. Researchers attribute this pay gap to the fact that lesbians tend to display more “masculine” qualities. People shouldn’t have to outwardly appear as masculine to be taken seriously, be portrayed as leaders and paid their true value.
Heterosexual men reading: recognize this privilege. If you’re in a position of hiring power, be aware of this bias and consider anonymous methods of evaluation so that everyone has an equal opportunity. Anyone else, let this be fuel to fire your ambitions!
However you identify, you are just as worthy as anyone else of the position and paycheck. Remember to be confident yet kind, fierce not competitive. We are all humans, just doing our best.
