Friday Five: Strengthen Your Intimate Connection
Exploring new frontiers in the bedroom can be key to inciting desire and allowing us to stay connected to our sexual selves. This exercise can always be enriching, both at a personal and interpersonal level, as it not only helps us tap into our sensual power but can also help us nurture our sexual relationship with our partner(s) while fostering intimacy and emotional connection.
Enjoy this week’s exploration into 5 ways to spice up intimacy.
1. Exploring Erogenous Zones through Sensual Massages
Sexual Health Writer Amanda Chatel presents us with 31 Hottest (Unexpected) Erogenous Zones to explore. Sensual massage can be a great way to not only awaken pleasurable sensations but also to seize the opportunity to discover and share new aspects of intimacy.
Pre-Communication: Before you begin, journal or discuss your expectations and boundaries with your partner(s).
Create Ambiance: Create a quiet space with soft lighting and relaxing music.
Oils for Massage: Consider using essential oils with fragrances both parties find pleasing (check for allergies beforehand).
Play: Through consistent verbal and nonverbal communication, discover and play with the erogenous zones (solo or together).
After the massage, practice self-aftercare and/or partnered aftercare.
2. Roleplay Scenarios
Roleplay situations can provide a fun and playful way to discover kinks and strengthen the bond with your partner(s), allowing you to unveil unexplored parts of your sexual self. Maybe you struggle with self-confidence, but dressing up as a hot cop might help you find your power. ;-)
Grab some fitting lingerie, think of which of the following frameworks calls your attention, have the needed conversations, and go for it. Remember that sometimes all it takes to kickstart the play is language: talking to each other from your chosen role, saying things like “Have you been a good girl today?”
Here are some ideas:
Explore power dynamics like the boss-employee, pilot-captain, doctor-patient, royalty-servant, or teacher-student relationship.
Create scenarios where you have “just met.” This can be planning to meet at a bar and approach each other, a delivery guy scenario, the hot neighbor, or the good old electrician/plumber situation.
Experiment with a massage therapist role-play scenario, where either you or your partner takes on the role of a skilled masseuse (go back to point #1 for more advice on this one).
When beginning to explore this type of play in the bedroom, prioritize negotiation, communication, and aftercare to ensure a consensual and satisfying experience for both partners.
Negotiation and Communication
Discuss desires and boundaries. “Let's establish some ground rules and boundaries. What are your limits, and is there anything specific you'd like to explore?”
Express boundaries and desires. “I'm comfortable [insert practice] this and [insert practice], but let's avoid [specific limit]. I'd love to explore [specific desire].”
Define roles clearly. “For this scenario, I'll take on the role of the [insert role], and you'll be [insert role]. How does that sound? Feel free to express your feelings, and we can adjust as needed.”
Acknowledge the roles. “Got it. I'll [insert action], and if something feels off, I'll let you know.”
Aftercare
Show care and affection afterward. “That was intense. How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?”
Express feelings and needs. “I need some comfort and reassurance. Can we cuddle?”
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3. Trying Out New Positions
Experimenting with new positions or techniques might sound like simple advice, but you might be in for a surprise if you explore enough sex positions, as you’ll start to learn some sex positions might make the most out of your experience depending on the context (i.e., anatomy of both partners, the moment of the cycle, etc.).
Always prioritize mutual consent and ongoing dialogue to ensure a positive and pleasurable experience for both partners.
4. Incorporating Aphrodisiac-Inspired Foods
Incorporating aphrodisiac-inspired foods into shared meals can be a delicious and sensual way to enrich the intimate connection. Over the ages, certain foods have been believed to have the power to enhance our mood or boost libido. HOWEVER, (fun fact), while some foods, especially herbs, have been shown to positively impact our reproductive system, many foods considered aphrodisiacs might not directly arouse us.
5. Playlist for a Sensual Atmosphere
Music can play a role in a couple's sexual encounters by contributing to the creation of an intimate and sensual atmosphere. A carefully selected playlist can set a romantic tone. In addition to stimulating the senses, music can reduce stress, foster greater emotional connection and enrich the sexual experience.
