The Role of Aftercare in Making Sex a Safe Experience
Have you ever felt fatigued or melancholic after having a sexual encounter? Maybe felt sad, anxious or irritated? There’s no need for you to worry, these feelings or energy drops happen to a lot of people because of the hormones released during sex, and there’s a way to help you manage them in a loving way:
Sexual Aftercare
First of all, let’s talk about kink drop and Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD). Maybe you know these by feeling but not by name.
Kink Drop is a physiological response to the drop of endorphins in the body after sexual activity. This drop is common in the BDSM community, hence the name. But it can happen in all types of sexual encounters. Endorphines, adrenaline and other hormones increase and release during sex, and it takes time for your system to re-balance. After a rush of endorphins, your body may present the following symptoms :
Fatigue
Body ache
Pain
Feeling cold
Sadness
Disorientation
Anxiety
On the other hand, Postcoital Dysphoria is the feeling of sadness, anxiety, agitation or aggression after sexual intercourse or masturbation. Because PCD occurs more frequently in female-identifying folks than male-identifying ones, most studies have focused on the condition in females. PCD can present the following symptoms:
Tearfulness
Sadness
Anxiety and depression
Irritability
Feeling unsatisfied
Aftercare can help you or your partner to get through these feelings, making sex a safer experience in your relationship. Have you ever heard of it? Do you practice it? According to Mary Grace Garis, sexual aftercare is “a concept that originated in the BDSM community, and it generally refers to the things you do to make sure everyone is okay and taken care of after sex play. However, aftercare can be anything that you and your sexual partner(s) need after the encounter.”
So this can be translated as cuddling, hand-holding or talking about how you both felt during sex. Bringing your partner some water, making something to eat, having a shower or maybe simply giving each other some space are valid forms of aftercare. It’s not the same for everyone, and that’s OK! Ask your partner(s) what they prefer and develop your own routines.
Aside from helping with these two common sensations that we may feel after sex, aftercare is a great way to manage anxiety and other unpleasant feelings. It can also be an amazing way to create new connections with your partner(s) and build a safe sexual environment.
Making sexual aftercare a default practice ensures both you and your sexual partner(s) walk out of the experience feeling good and cared for.
