Falling in Love with Yourself
Meet Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce, a doctor of human sexuality who promotes self-acceptance as a path to a satisfying sex life.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CZGtYfcrO6n/
My Sex Biography: How did you get started in your field of work?
Nancy Sutton Pierce: I have been in health care since the early 80s, always in health education, from OB to outpatient diabetes. I gradually shifted into a more holistic practice as a yoga therapist.
Because I’ve always been known for being open-minded and sexually non-judgmental, in 2010 I was asked to write a sex and relationship column for an online news publication. One of my columns was on the debate about the difference between erotica and porn. This led me to create an erotic film festival for women, and those who adore them. Through this process I met my mentor and dear friend, Dr. Ava Cadell, Sexologist to the Stars in Los Angeles. She encouraged me to return to school to earn my Doctorate in Human Sexuality. So, I did and graduated in 2015 at the age of 58. Since then I have been traveling the world teaching small and large groups of women, men, couples and teens about their rights and responsibilities for a fulfilling sexual life.
MSB: What has been the overall response from readers/followers/friends/family?
NSP: At first there were a lot of judgments and criticisms, since many, including myself in 2010, didn’t even know the field of sexology was a real thing. Once those who know me understood I wasn’t going off the deep end into illegal work, and that most of what I do is around communication and relationships, they got excited about having someone they could talk to without worrying about being judged or shamed. Now I’m introduced at parties as “the Sex Doctor” because apparently everyone wants to talk about sex, but has been afraid to do so.
MSB: What or who is your inspiration?
NSP: Dr. Ava Cadell was my inspiring introduction. She is a phenomenal human being. Dr. Marilyn Lawrence and Dr. Ted Mcllvenna, from the institute I graduated from, and my husband, who lovingly calls me his moving target and is always supportive of my insatiable passion to help humanity, are also inspirations. My deeper commitment comes from having daughters, and now four granddaughters, to continue the fight towards women’s equality and self-empowerment. They have brought out the passionate feminist in me in ways I never imagined. I’m a fierce protector of women, children, and men who are mistreated.
MSB: Can you share some of the most common questions you get in relation to reproductive health?
NSP: “How do I know if I am normal?” So many people are sheltered and not educated around the world about the human body, desires, functions, appearances, differences, etc.
Natural curiosity and the internet, porn and photoshopped images. make up the primary source of sexual education. The teachings from many churches and cultural ideals are often outdated - abstinence only - and result in causing more harm than good.
Some of the other common questions I receive are:
“Is masturbation healthy?”
“How do I get my wife to want sex?”
“Does penis size really matter?”
“Does using two condoms provide more protection than one?”
MSB: How can a deeper understanding of our reproductive/sexual health lead to an overall better life and better partnerships? Or can it?
NSP: I have always believed that knowledge is power.
The more we learn about our own sexuality and feel unashamed to ask all of our questions, the more empowered we are to take ownership of our sexual lives.
Rather than feel it’s someone else’s responsibility, right, or duty to please us, we need to learn how to take care of ourselves and that we have the right to dictate our sexual timing and experiences.
The young women I know who have someone like me in their life tend to delay sexual activity since they know it is 100% up to them, when, where, how, why, etc. They are much less likely to be coerced into something they are unsure of. They also have access to information about self-pleasure so they can be in charge of their own desires and physical needs for exploration long before they include a partner.
MSB: Can you talk more about how "sex energy is life energy"?
NSP: My favorite topic! Sex energy, when we understand Chakras, comes from the Sacral Chakra. It is in the vicinity of the reproductive system. It is what is considered the “source” of creative and sexual energy. These two energies are intertwined. Our overall health is related to the health of our sex energy. It is where inspiration, motivation, creativity, bonding, life force all emanates from.
I know this may sound really “woo-woo.” It once did to me as well. As a nurse working in the field of women’s health, endocrine disorders, chronic illness, depression, back pain, obesity, etc., I can now see the connection between one’s sex energy and their overall life energy (aka well-being). When people feel sexually free, vibrant, connected, orgasmic, comfortable, expressive - their entire being reflects this vibrant health I know it personally and professionally to be true.
MSB: How can we bring that energy into our lives and the lives of others?
NSP: Yoga was a huge game changer for me personally and professionally. I stumbled upon it with my two pre-teen daughters - and it created a shift in my awareness of myself, my body, thoughts, desires, breath, relationships, attitudes, beliefs, and virtually EVERYTHING was up for a big shift happening.
I believe every human being can learn more about themselves via the yoga path. However, I also know there are many other paths of self-discovery, some that are constructive, some destructive. That is for each person to choose. When we discover our authentic self, sans dogma, we also discover our sex energy source. That opens up the portal to living a life on our own ecstatic terms.
MSB: What kinds of sexual self-care do you practice?
NSP: I am a firm believer in a loving self-pleasure practice and active fantasy life. For me to be the best sexual partner, I need to be deeply connected to my own energy, sexual needs, changes, boundaries, curiosities, etc. Once I am rooted in who I am, then I can fully share this with my partner - as well as be open to his changing sexuality. None of us are who we were yesterday, or who we will be tomorrow. Life is change. If I don’t stay connected to those shifts, my partner may assume I am the same and we are suddenly out of balance.
I also practice intimate communication with my partner daily. We take time for each other in the midst of two very busy lives. We always have, for over 33 years now. It is key to make each other a priority and our relationship the cornerstone of our focus.
MSB: What are some common misconceptions people have about their sexual health or reproductive health?
NSP: The most common is that they don’t need to tend to it. That desire will just happen, especially after you have started a family. Couples aren’t educated as to the natural shifts in sex energy during pregnancy or early childhood. They feel broken, embarrassed, afraid and resentful. If they knew these shifts were natural, temporary, and had a tool-box to maintain sweet intimacy during those times, they would be much less likely to panic and react negatively.
The other misconception is about each gender’s sexual journey. We don’t teach it. We don’t talk about it. Yet we are both on a trajectory of natural changes. I teach all the nuances and details about pleasure and it’s shifts - anatomically, emotionally and mentally. This is not a word you will hear in many sex ed classes.
I also debrief teens, whom the majority of them are using pornography as their sex education, regarding the reality of sexual and intimate interactions versus what they see in porn. This is a highly under-discussed area that must be addressed now. Additionally, the penis-centric messaging from porn is misleading another generation about intimacy and sexual expression towards women (and men).
Also, I address the expectations around the appearance of our genitals. I am on a mission to get labiaplasty, g-spot injections, vaginal tightening procedures, etc. debunked. These are all symptoms that women are still being kept in the dark about our own natural body. I show teens a beautiful book called 101 Vulvas. Being able to see that every woman’s vulva is like a fingerprint - unique and perfect just as it is - can open them up to see themselves in the same light, and not to compare to the images they see in porn or photoshopped pictures. (Yes, girls are turning to porn nearly at the same rate as boys, since sex curiosity is a very natural experience).
I promote not only a healthy body acceptance, but more so a genuine love, appreciation, respect and admiration of our human body gift.
If you are in love with yourself, it’s easy to be a loving human being to others.
Thank you for talking with us, Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce!
You can hop on to Dr. Nancy’s website and her Instagram page to know more about her.
