Friday Five: Choosing Celibacy
We celebrate our ability to make choices that elevate our highest selves. Sexual freedom is essential—in fact, some find that refraining from sex can be just as liberating, as it comes from the same place of self-agency.
Keep reading for reasons why celibacy could be a useful practice on your sexual path + advice for commanding your decision.
Sexual healing
Sexual trauma isn’t restricted to assault; it can include anything sexually related that creates unwanted feelings of disempowerment or shame.
“People may lose a sense of body ownership to accompany their loss of self, felt connection to others, and even their sense of being fully alive. Recovering a sense of personal agency and of bodily ownership is key to recovery.”
Whether you're healing from trauma or from society’s heteronormativity and patriarchal standards, deciding to refrain from sex can be a beneficial step to reclaiming your vessel and regaining control of its pleasure—on your own terms.
Personal Power Push-ups
Committing to this decision is also a way to exercise self-discipline. Imagine that you are storing your sexual energy, and every day it becomes more potent. This energy is valuable, powerful and uniquely yours. See how you can use it to fuel other aspects of your life like creative projects and fitness.
Reignite your Arousal
Forbidden fruit is always seen as more desirable, so celibacy could potentially (and ironically) lead to more arousal, sex therapist Kathy McMahon, Psy.D. theorizes.
“Celibacy itself could be a form of seduction.
Desire is inflamed when desire is denied,” McMhaon says.
Ruling out physical sex allows for more…fantasizing. Draw the excitement back into your body, literally! Making erotic art is an alluring way to channel your sexual energy while being celibate.
Sex vs Intimacy
If you decide to be sex-free for a stretch of time, define what that means to you. Are you refraining from just sexual penetration or all forms of sexual intimacy, like kissing and foreplay? Will this include masturbation? There are no right or wrong answers.
Trust yourself to know when the time is right to break your celibacy. Creating a time frame—this summer or one year from today—can be motivating but may also put unnecessary pressure on you. Be thoughtful with your decisions and they will feel empowering.
Seek Support
Celibacy guide Jordan Jeppe shares advice for women on her TikTok, where she previously documented 13 months of being sex-free.
