Friday Five: Set Yourself Up for Sexual Satisfaction in 2023
Tis’ the time to make new year resolutions and break cycles that don’t serve us; an easy way to break patterns is by looking back with intention.
The sex life of your dreams is on the other side of reflection.
Pull out your journal and ask yourself these 5 questions about your sex life in 2022.
How much sex did I have?
Despite what society likes to make us think, “too much or too little sex” doesn’t exist. Only YOU know if the amount of sex you’re having aligns with your desire and feeling sexually fulfilled.
“I define a healthy relationship with sex as one that allows you to grow, explore, flourish, be constructive; it has a positive additive force in your relationship to yourself and the world.”
— Dr. Kate Balestrieri on Carnal Theory
Sometimes not having as much sex as you want might only mean that life is getting on the way, or having more sex than you desire might mean that you are prioritizing others other than yourself. Take a moment to reflect where in that spectrum you fit in, and try to list at least 5 reasons why.
2. How satisfied was I with my sexual experiences?
Now, of the sexual experiences you had in 2023, ask yourself:
After my sexual encounters,
Did I experience positive feelings? Was I happy? Fulfilled? Relaxed?
Did I feel cared for? Was my pleasure important?
How did my body feel? Was I more tense or more relaxed after sex?
The easiest way to expand our sexual satisfaction is by staying away from imposed patterns. How much of your sexual experiences were geared towards one type of stimulation only?
3. Was something left out of my bucket list?
Having sexual fantasies is normal, and even if we don't have fantasies, sometimes there are new things we would like to try in bed. Ask yourself:
Did you try any of those in 2022?
If not, what stopped you from doing it?
If yes, how did the experience(s) go?
Was there a moment or action outside your sexual comfort zone that you’d like to do again in 2023?
What sexual practices have I heard about that I am still curious to try?
And if you’re in a relationship right now, you might want to take a peek at this blog.
4. Who was my sex life designed for?
Whose script were you following? Who was the all-powerful ruler of your sexual story?
We’re filled with ideas of what our lives should be like from the moment we are born; making sure we choose instead of running on autopilot can be revealing.
In 2022, did I…
Choose my relationship structure? Am I monogamous or non-monogamous because it is what fulfills me and brings me the most joy?
Create a sex life that included sexual practices that made me happy?
Set boundaries in bed? Did I give my consent enthusiastically?
Listen to my body and its turn-ons and -offs?
5. Did I actively work to build a pleasurable sex life for myself?
You are responsible for your own pleasure. Period.
“Your sexuality is like a houseplant. You need to water it, you need to give it food, and it needs lots of sunlight and lots of love or it’s going to die.”
— Certified Sex Educator and Author Gigi Engle
If your 2022 wrapped in bed isn’t what you would expect, then this is the year to take action. Don’t leave it for later, don’t put it at the bottom of your to-do list.
Your sexual satisfaction can deeply impact your mental health and overall wellbeing. Set yourself up for sexual satisfaction.
Thank you for joining us on our journey of providing nourishing sex education, normalizing taboo topics and sharing unique stories. We hope you will continue to feel supported and inspired to explore your personal sexual wellness, identity and self-expression. Let us know your favorite moment of 2022, we love to hear from you.
Sexual Empowerment Is Priceless
The My Sex Bio Esty store is live! Check out the 10-a-day reflection journal, sticker kits, and other digital resources for as little as 99¢.
Explore our sex-positive, empowering products throught our website and take command of your sexuality.
